


What if...

by Flowing_River



Category: MacGyver (TV 2016)
Genre: AU for 204, Attempted Rape/Non-Con, Creepy Murdoc, Emotionally and physically, Gen, I need to stop hurting Mac, Nightmares, Non-Consensual Touching, Platonic Cuddling, Protective Jack, Threats of Rape/Non-Con, Torture, as usual
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-05-28
Updated: 2019-06-18
Packaged: 2020-03-20 14:51:33
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence, Rape/Non-Con
Chapters: 14
Words: 12,457
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/18994819
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Flowing_River/pseuds/Flowing_River
Summary: Angus’ eyes flew open and he punched Murdoc. Murdoc grinned covering Angus’ nose and mouth, cutting off all his breath. He used his other hand to pin down Angus’ hands. He knew Angus was a skilled fighter, but he had nothing on Murdoc. Angus’ eyes widened as he struggled and kicked to get air, but Murdoc smiled, tightening his grip.What could have happened if Mac didn't escape from Murdoc...





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> I was going to post and write this a little later, but I couldn't wait! Here's the first chapter which is a little different from the canon. I hope y'all like it!

Murdoc smiled as he stood outside Angus’ doorstep. He had been planning this for weeks. He knew Wilt and Angus were already fast asleep, just as planned. 

He broke in quietly, so he wouldn’t wake Wilt or Angus. He knew he could easily overpower both of them and he didn’t mind shooting Wilt, but he preferred not for this to be messy. 

Murdoc stood in the living room, quietly listening to the sounds of Wilt’s snores and Angus’...whimpers?

_Nightmares...how delightful._

Murdoc always wondered what haunted Angus’ dreams and if he ever made a star appearance. 

_If not, I’m sure I could fix that._

He quietly entered the room and Angus’ whimpers immediately stopped.

_I must have woken him._

He had been expecting that, after all Angus was a trained operative. Angus didn’t move, instead he waited quietly with his eyes closed.

_He’s waiting until I get close to attack me._

Murdoc had to admit that it was a very efficient method. 

_Probably something Dalton taught him._

Murdoc’s plan involved having Phoenix right behind him so he pulled out an empty burn phone, setting it on the side table, so the camera was aimed at Angus’ bed. He started a video, then quietly strode over to Angus’ bed. 

Angus’ eyes flew open and he punched Murdoc. Murdoc grinned covering Angus’ nose and mouth, cutting off all his breath. He used his other hand to pin down Angus’ hands. He knew Angus was a skilled fighter, but he had nothing on Murdoc. Angus’ eyes widened as he struggled and kicked to get air, but Murdoc smiled, tightening his grip.

Murdoc winced when one of Angus’ kicks hit him in between the legs, but he didn’t let go. By now Angus was barely conscious, fighting for air. When he finally closed his eyes, Murdoc removed his hands. He tied Angus dragged him out of the room and stuffed him in the back seat.

Murdoc set a few false clues for Phoenix before taking Angus down to the room he had found for this and handcuffing him to the chair. He inserted the IV needle into Angus’ arm and stood up, examining him. 

Murdoc grabbed Angus by the hair turning his head back and forth, looking at the almost peaceful expression on his face.

_I’ll have to change that._

It was such a shame Murdoc would have to let Angus go so quickly, without even hurting him. But he needed to get his hands on Henry Fletcher. And who better then The Phoenix to find him for Murdoc. His plan was perfect, he knew Angus would escape and figure out how to find this place. After seeing a few clues, they would think he was after Fletcher and find him.

_But I can still have a little fun with Angus...After all, I just need words to hurt him…_

 

Jack sat up with a gasp, breathing heavily. He wasn’t sure what woke him up. He had been dreaming pleasantly and couldn’t hear any noises that would have woken him up. Still, his gut said that something was wrong.

_Mac._

Mac hadn’t called him after their fight in Paris, which had surprised Jack. He just figured Mac was tired and had fallen asleep before he could call him. 

Jack reached for his phone...that wasn’t there. He got out of bed, searching the apartment for his phone. 

_Shit...I left it in the car._

Jack quickly ran to the parking lot and found his phone. 

_16 missed calls and 9 voicemails?_

No wonder his gut was telling him something was off. He started listening to the voicemails. Number one was just Mac asking to talk. By number four, Mac was convinced Jack was ignoring him. Number 8, Mac was apologizing. And the last one...Jack’s heart clenched when he heard the unmistakable sounds of Mac crying.

“I’m sorry Jack. I didn’t mean to yell at you like that. Please talk to me, I know I don’t deserve it and you hate me now, but please. Don’t leave me Jack, I’m sorry,” Mac begged through his sobs.

Jack cursed, getting in the car and calling Mac. He didn’t care that it was the middle of the night, he wasn’t going to let Mac think that he was angry at him. 

Jack had just thought Mac needed some space in Paris, so he had left. He had been a bit angry, but he hadn’t thought Mac would take it this badly. 

Jack cursed again when Mac didn’t pick up. He speed up the car, driving to Mac’s house as fast as possible.

He quickly unlocked the door, walking into Mac’s room. Mac wasn’t there, but his bed had been slept in. 

Jack quickly looked around the house cursing when he couldn’t find Mac. He froze when he saw the deck. A corkscrew was stabbed inside a wine bottle which sat next to a mask.

_Murdoc…_

He ran into Bozer’s room, yelling at him to wake up.

“Jack? Why are you here? What’s going on?”

“Mac’s gone.”

“Gone where?”

“I don’t know. I think Murdoc took him.”

Bozer’s eyes widened, “Murdoc? But what...why-”

“Call Matty, I’ll check to see if he left any clues.”

Bozer nodded getting up and following him to Mac’s room. Jack could hear him talking on the phone, but he ignored it, looking around Mac’s room. His eyes caught a phone, propped up on Mac’s side-table. 

Jack walked over and picked it up, searching it’s contents. It was completely empty, except for a video. Jack hesitated before pressing play. He watched as Murdoc attacked Mac and dragged him out after Mac lost consciousness. Jack was glad Mac had gotten a few hits in, but he was worried beyond description about Mac.

_Where could he be by now and what could Murdoc have done?_

He almost threw up remembering the pictures of Murdoc’s targets after he slowly and painfully killed them.

“What’s wrong?” asked Bozer. 

He sounded almost hopeful and Jack hated that he had to disappoint him. Jack handed the phone to Bozer and walked outside, trying to calm himself down. He was going to find Mac, no matter what he had to do.


	2. Chapter 2

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I hope y'all like this chapter.
> 
>  **Note** : Torture and Murdoc is a little touchy in this chapter, but there's nothing sexual.

Mac's head was spinning as he stumbled out of the room. He had no desire to stick around after hearing Murdoc's monologue about his son and Mac's father. As soon as Murdoc left to get his "tools," Mac had picked the lock with the needle and burnt off the lock on the door.

Mac collapsed on the floor outside the room. He tried to get up, but his limbs weren't cooperating. 

_I really hated being drugged._

Mac managed to drag himself towards a tunnel, but was stopped by Murdoc stepping in front of him.

"Where are you going? I haven't even started with you," he said laughing, "Look at you Angus, crawling on the floor, trying to get away from me. You look pathetic, no wonder everyone leaves you."

Mac stopped struggling against Murdoc, "Not everyone leaves me," he said, but his words sounded hollow, even to himself.

Murdoc seemed to know what was going through Mac's head and smiled, "Then why was Jack ignoring your calls? You called him...16 times and you left some...delicious voicemails. And he still didn't answer."

"He must have lost his phone," Mac said. But he didn't believe it himself, he knew what Murdoc was saying was true.

Murdoc smiled, "I know you don't believe that. You might think Jack cares or the rest of you _team_ cares, but they don't. You are just a tool for them, something useful for their missions. You always need so much care so they pretend, just to keep you around. I bet they will only half-heartedly look for you today, then they will give up. They'll be glad that you're gone and that they don't have to take care of you." 

"No, that's not true, they care for me."

Murdoc grinned, "Do you really believe that?"

Mac looked down to try and hide the tears that were falling down his face. He flinched when Murdoc squatted down next to him and gently lifted his head by his chin. Everything felt wrong about the way Murdoc was gently wiping the tears off his face and smiling. Murdoc then dragged Mac back inside that room and handcuffed him to the chair. He tossed aside the needle and IV.

"I don't need this anymore, he said with a grin, "You see, I had a plan. A brilliant plan which sadly meant letting you go unharmed. But I changed my mind. I have you here now, so why shouldn't I take advantage of you? I have other ways to get what I want and to hurt you."

"What do you want?" Mac asked sharply, "Because whatever it is, I'm never telling you."

Murdoc smiled, "I don't need you to tell me anything. I just want to hear you scream, to break you, to hear you beg, to haunt your dreams. I know you've been tortured before and you think you're prepared for this. But this is going to be much, much worse then anything you can imagine."

Mac tried not to let the fear he felt show on his face.

"Let's start slowly," Murdoc said.

He pulled out a knife, Mac's knife and cut off Mac's shirt.

"So many scars...Who else has hurt you?" he asked, mostly talking to himself.

Murdoc made a cut, under Mac's bullet scar. Mac held back a gasp, he made sure not to even flinch. He wasn't going to give Murdoc any satisfaction. Murdoc continued running his hand over Mac's scars and cutting into Mac, slowly. Murdoc thought for a moment then grasped Mac's wrist and held it down, carving something into his forearm.

_What is he doing?_

Mac gasped as the knife dug in his arm, deep enough to scar, but not kill him. 

He got his answer when Murdoc stepped back, examining his arm with satisfaction. Mac glanced at his arm and almost threw up. Murdoc had carved the word "Mine" and underneath drawn a dash and a "M." Mac felt tears in his eyes.

_I'm not his, I don't belong to anyone._

But those thoughts were drowned out by what Murdoc had written in his arm and what he had said earlier.

_He can do anything he wants, and I can't stop him. And no one is coming for me, no one is going to rescue me from him. He's right, I am his._

"That was a little teaser Angus. Are you ready for the main course?"

Mac hadn't even noticed Murdoc grabbing a cloth and a bucket, but the next thing he knew was his face being covered. And then he couldn't breath. He tried not to panic, but couldn't help himself when he felt Murdoc grabbing his wrists.

_I can't breathe...I can't breathe_

He stuggled and fought for air, but no matter what he did, Mac couldn't _breathe_.

_Just one breath, I need just one breath. Please just let me breathe._

Just when he was about to pass out, Mac was allowed a breath. And then the cloth was back on his face and he couldn't _breathe_.

The torture continued like this, Mac was drowned until he was close to passing out and then allowed a breath over and over again. 

Mac sighed in relief when it was finally over. Murdoc was right, he wasn't ready for this. He knew he couldn't stand this for long and it had only been a few hours.

_What will I do? No one's coming for me, no one's going to save me. There's nothing I can do._

Those were Mac's last thoughts before he slipped into unconsciousness...

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Please leave a comment! The next chapter will be out soon (depending on my finals)


	3. Chapter 3

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Here's the next chapter! I hope y'all like it!

Jack paced back and forth in the War Room. Riley was analyzing the video and Bozer was going through evidence from the house. Jack could do nothing but pace and hope that Riley or Bozer got something...anything that could help them find Mac.

Jack's phone rang, indicating he had a message. He almost ignored it, but since he had nothing else to do, he pulled out his phone. The message was from an unknown number, a video. Jack's heart sank, he knew exactly what was going to be on the video.

"What's wrong?" asked Riley.

Jack swallowed before replying, "Uh...I think Murdoc sent me a video...of Mac."

Riley grabbed the phone, plugging it into her computer and starting a trace. She put the video up on the screen, hesitating before pressing play.

"Bozer, Riley, please go outside," Jack said, "I know you're worried, but there's no reason for you two to watch this."

"What about you?" Bozer protested.

"I've seen torture before and I've seen Mac being tortured, it already haunts my dreams. I need to know what Murdoc's done," he said trying to keep his voice calm. But Jack was scared inside, he almost didn't want to see the video, didn't want to know what Murdoc was doing.

_But I have to. For Mac._

Riley and Bozer hesitated before going outside. Jack fogged the windows before pressing play. His heart broke, watching Murdoc convince Mac that he was worthless and that no one was coming for him.

_Why is he so easily convinced that no one can care for him. What was his life like before he met us?_

Jack turned his attention back to the video, clenching his fists when Murdoc started cutting Mac. He could see the fear in Mac's eyes which tore at his heart all over again. Jack almost lunged at the screen when Murdoc started waterboarding Mac.He knew Mac always thought waterboarding was the worst form of torture because Mac couldn't control his panic when he was drowning. Jack knew he hated panicking in front of anyone. He looked over at Matty and saw the anger and sadness in her eyes.

_Don't worry Mac...we'll find you._

__

Jack was a lot less confident now. It had been 3 days, three excruciatingly long days since Mac went missing. And every day Jack would get a new video like clockwork. Riley tracked them to different public libraries. She would use the cameras to track Murdoc to different alleys and then would lose him. It was like he would disappear. Everyone spent hours thinking about how Murdoc was disappearing from all the cameras, but no one could figure anything out.

________ _ _ _ _

_Mac would know. He would have figured it out by now._

________ _ _ _ _

Jack looked at the camera footage again, finding nothing.

________ _ _ _ _

_Maybe there's some passageway we can't see from these cameras._

________ _ _ _ _

He knew it was unlikely Murdoc would show up on these cameras if there was a way to find Mac close by, but he was going to try everything possible. No matter what it took, he was going to find Mac.

________ _ _ _ _

 

________ _ _ _ _

Mac gasped as he woke up with an electric shock. Murdoc had been doing this for the past 4 days. Torturing him into unconsciousness and then waking him up with a shock. It had been a long four days filled with pain and fear. Murdoc had stuck to his word, not asking him a single question that Murdoc didn't already know the answer too, just hurting him.

________ _ _ _ _

Mac had given up any hope for rescue, but he still tried to stay strong in front of Murdoc. But he didn't know how much longer he could do that, in front of Murdoc's taunting comments about how no one had came for him and how much fun it was to hurt him.

________ _ _ _ _

"Jack was right, it's almost impossible to keep you out of your head," Murdoc said, "So I'm going to try something a bit different. It's going to be sooo much fun...well for me. You should hope you don't get too lost in you head."

________ _ _ _ _

Murdoc pulled out a blindfold and tied it around his head. Mac tensed, he could hear Murdoc walking around him. Then Murdoc put something over his ears, earmuffs. Mac tried to control his breathing, but he was panicking. He couldn't hear or see anything. He flinched when he felt an hand on his arm. He could almost hear Murdoc laughing.

________ _ _ _ _

Then the arm left his arm and he was left alone. Or maybe Murdoc was still there, watching him. He tried to control his breathing. But without anything to see or hear, Mac had nothing to focus on. He tried to think about chemical formulas, but his mind started taking him to darker places. The horrors he had seen long ago and in his dreams were running through his mind on repeat. He tried to get away from them, but no one was their to pull him out of his head. He was alone...all alone...

________ _ _ _ _

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Please leave a comment! The next chapter will out soon!


	4. Chapter 4

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I hope y'all like this chapter.
> 
> I will probably post less often now because I have a lot going on. I might disappear for a while, but don't worry, I'm not abandoning this story!

Jack pulled on his TAC vest. He had decided to visit one of the alleys Murdoc had went to alone. He really didn't need to wear full TAC gear, but he didn't trust Murdoc. He frowned when his phone buzzed.

_It can't be Murdoc, he only sends one video per day._

But it was Murdoc.

_What did he do that he couldn't wait to show me._

Jack knew that Murdoc knew he was watching all of the videos.

_He knows I can't stand not knowing what Mac is going through._

Jack hesitated before pressing play. He was confused at first, but then understood what Murdoc was trying to show him. He fought the urge to throw his phone when he saw Mac crying under the blindfold and turning his head back and forth. He had no idea what Mac was seeing, it could have been any of his thousands of bad memories.

_How long has Murdoc kept Mac like this?_

Jack couldn't imagine anything worse for Mac then to make sure their was no way he could get out of his head.

_Without seeing or hearing anything, he has nothing to focus on. And his mind takes him to the worst horrors imaginable._

Jack cursed when Murdoc walked into the screen.

"Hello. I hope you've been enjoying these videos as much as I have been," he said stepping close to Mac.

Murdoc put a hand on Mac's shoulder, causing him to flinch. Then he soothingly rubbed Mac's shoulder until Mac stopped crying. Everything about that seemed wrong to Jack.

_I should be the one comforting him._

Then Murdoc smiled, cutting Mac with his SAK.

_He's making him feel safe, giving him false hope, then taking it away from Mac._

"I've enjoyed this even more then Angus' screams. And they were exhilarating. I don't even have to hurt him, he's just hurting himself," Murdoc said laughing, "You know, he's completely given up hope for rescue. You are coming for him right? Not that I'm complaining, take your time."

And the video ended. 

Jack grabbed a spare phone and handed his to Matty on his way out. He was going to find Mac, if it was the last thing he could do...

 

Mac cringed when he saw a bright light in his eyes.

_Where am I? Oh right...with Murdoc. How long have I been here?_

Mac realized that tears were still flowing from his eyes.

_What did I say out loud during all those flashbacks?_

Mac cringed when Murdoc removed the earmuffs saying, "Welcome back Angus. I know you didn't have a pleasant trip, but I certainly did. I would have continued, but I missed your screams."

Mac flinched, struggling against the handcuffs.

"Don't worry, let me take care of those," Murdoc said, removing the handcuffs.

Now was Mac's chance to fight back, but he knew it was pointless. He was too weak, too bruised, too tired. He didn't stand a chance against Murdoc. He didn't struggle as Murdoc tied his wrists to a chain, which he hung from the ceiling.

"You're stubborn, you refuse to scream. But that just makes it more fun for me..."

Mac looked at the whip in Murdoc's hand, knowing exactly what was about to happen. And he broke, he couldn't take it anymore, he couldn't keep fighting.

"No please don't, please don't hurt me..."

Murdoc's smile grew, "As fun as it is to hear you beg, I would rather hear you _scream_."

And then he brought the whip down on Mac's back. And Mac did scream, a hoarse scream. His voice was almost gone from all the screaming and waterboarding.

"Please stop...I'll do anything...I'll tell you anything."

"Didn't Phoenix teach you anything? I thought you would last more the 5 days. I didn't even ask you anything," Murdoc said, mockingly, hitting him again.

Tears were running down Mac's face as he screamed again, "Please stop...I can't take anymore."

_He's right. I am useless, people have gone through worse, longer and not broken._

Murdoc tilted his head like he was thinking, "Fine, but you have to count. 15 lashes and I'll stop, but you can't stop counting,"

And Mac did, screaming and crying between each hit. When it was over, he curled over as best as possible, still sobbing.

_Murdoc is right. No one could ever care for me, not after I'm completely willing to give up anything to make him stop. No wonder everyone leaves me. I must be pathetic if I have to beg with Murdoc and ask for mercy._

And all those thoughts were running through Mac's head when Murdoc left the room, leaving him all alone...again...

 

Murdoc smiled as he walked out of the room. He had no idea that Angus was going to be this affected by all the flashbacks.

_He must have some delicious memories._

He had almost considered ignoring Angus' request to stop, but he ended up compromising. 

_He'll feel guilty because he asked me to stop. And I listened._

Murdoc was glad that Dalton hadn't figured out how to find him yet.

_The longer I take Angus out of the field the better._

And then when Angus thinks he has healed completely, I'll strike again. With a whole team, so that Dalton will have no chance of finding him. Murdoc's plan was perfect, he couldn't wait to execute it.

_I'm just waiting for the day he asks me to end his suffering. That's when I'll know I've won this game..._

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Please leave a comment!


	5. Chapter 5

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> What I said in the last chapter about my posting schedule still stands. It's a maybe, not a probably now so don't be too sad :)

Mac was still crying after Murdoc left him. He knew the team would be disappointed in him for breaking this quickly.

_Murdoc was right, I was trained better then this. No wonder no one wants me anymore. I can't blame them for leaving me here._

Mac didn't blame the team for the fact he was still here. He knew it was his fault. But he needed to get out of here. This was the first time he was left alone in this room, conscious. He managed to get to his feet to relive the strain on his arms and back. His back was still on fire, but he ignored the pain for now. 

More tears ran down Mac's face when he realized he couldn't escape. He had nothing to use to pick his cuffs.

_I just want to go home. But I can't. Murdoc would never let me, even if I told him anything he wanted to know._

_I'm a terrible person just for thinking that_

Mac flinched when the door opened again.

"Ready for round two? Oh you didn't really believe I was going to stop, did you? Like I said earlier, I miss your _screams_..."

Mac shook his head, "Please, please don't...please I'll tell you anything, just please stop...I can't take anymore."

Murdoc smiled bringing the whip down on Mac's back, "I don't _want_ to know anything from you. I just want to hurt you. Remember I told you I wanted to hear you beg and scream. And I know a way to get what I want."

Murdoc hit him again, causing him to scream.

"Please stop... _please_..."

But Murdoc wasn't listening to him. All Mac could do was scream and beg and just hope for some miracle to come and stop this...

When it was finally over, Murdoc stepped close to him, examining his back.

"Hmm...these will get infected if we leave them like this. I don't want you to die, not yet."

Mac knew Jack would have made a snarky comment, likely asking Murdoc why he did it in the first place if he knew the wounds were dangerous. But Mac didn't want to anger Murdoc, not if he wanted this to stop.

Murdoc opened a bottle of rubbing alcohol.

"No...don't..."

"These wounds will get infected if I don't clean them."

And then Murdoc poured the liquid on Mac's back and he screamed. His voice was so hoarse that the scream was only a weak noise. And then Mac's vision went black...giving him an escape from the pain...

 

Jack scowled when he received another video. They had finally made some progress after Jack had checked out all the alleys. They all had one thing in common, an entrance to the sewers. Jack had figured Murdoc was using them to get around. They had figured out the paths that Murdoc had to have used to get to the various libraries, but they needed more information. Which meant more waiting and more videos.

Riley started a trace on his phone while Jack walked out of the room to watch the video in private. He knew the others felt guilty he was watching the videos by himself, but he knew they had no desire to watch them.

Jack almost threw up while watching the video. This one was the worst yet, and he thought nothing could be worse then watching Mac lost in his head. Tears were running down his face while he watched Mac beg with Murdoc to stop. 

_Murdoc's broken him. How will Mac ever be the same again?_

Somehow Jack's heart broke more when Mac offered any information to make Murdoc stop and he refused.

_That bastard. I'll kill him slowly, making him experience what Mac has gone through so many times in his life._

That thought might have been a little scary to anyone, but Jack knew any sane person would think the same after seeing all the videos.

_And I know there is more going on then what I can see._

When Jack couldn't watch anymore, he burst into the war room, giving the team an update. He could see tears in everyone's eyes, including Matty's.

"I sorry, I can't find him yet. I need at least one more trace," Riley said looking down.

Jack was angry, but he wasn't going to take it out on Riley. It wasn't her fault.

"It's okay," Jack said, gently, "You're doing the best you can. We'll find him, don't worry."

 

Murdoc smiled after walking out of the room, leaving Angus sobbing and bleeding. It had been an enjoyable experience to hurt him and hear him beg. He was glad he got to hear Angus beg before the team found him.

_I know they're close on my tail. Dalton probably figured out how I'm getting around and Riley probably has some system she is using to figure out possible locations._

That's why Murdoc needed to recruit a team.

_I could have easily killed Angus if I wanted it to be quick. But because I want to do it slowly I need more people to be distractions and help keep Angus' pesky team away. They were too smart for Murdoc to take all of them at once._

He supposed he could kill them, but that would take too much effort. And would break Angus completely. He wanted to start killing an Angus who still had a fight left in him and watch it die from his eyes when he realized his fate. Not kill someone hollow and overwhelmed with guilt.

But those were thoughts for another time, he had more pressing issues to deal with. Like what to do with Angus next...

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Please leave a comment!


	6. Chapter 6

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Sorry for the delay...The next chapter probably won't be out until next week...
> 
> Sorry this chapter's short, I hope y'all like it!

Murdoc knew the team was close. They likely were on the way here. He knew he had to make the most of his last hours with Angus. He needed to do something _special_. 

Murdoc walked slowly into the room, smiling when Angus whimpered. He kneeled down next to Angus, watching him flinch away.

"What should I do with you next? Any suggestions, Angus?"

Angus looked at him, "Please leave me alone...please stop..."

_I don't even have to threaten him to make him beg, how perfect. I wish I had more time with him_

Murdoc pulled out Angus' knife and gently ran the blade down his back listening to Angus' groans of pain. He cut Angus down from the ceiling and tied him to the chair again. He knew that Angus must have been in agonizing pain because of his back.cautur

_I just want to leave one last gift for Angus before I leave._

Murdoc stabbed Angus with the SAK in the stomach, avoiding major arteries and organs. Angus' eyes widened in shock.

"Don't worry, it's not enough to kill you. I'll just get a flare to cauterize it...see you soon Angus."

Murdoc walked through a door on the side as he heard the main door being kicked in. He ducked through a secret passageway and laughed. They were never going to find him...

 

Jack geared up as fast as he could. Riley had finally found a location and he wasn't going to waste any time getting to Mac. 

Jack immediately went to Mac when they kicked down the door. He knew the others would get Murdoc, all he cared about was his kid. When Jack knelt next to Mac, he could see him crying.

"You're safe now, don't worry, Murdoc won't be able to get to you."

"I'm sorry, I'm sorry."

"You have nothing to apologize for Mac, none of this was your fault."

"But I broke, I should have done better, I should have held on longer."

"There's nothing wrong with that, nothing can train you for torture, not even experience. And a psychopath like Murdoc who knows a lot about you, no one will blame you for breaking."

The medics ran into the room, checking Mac's pulse and laying him on a gurney to take him to the hospital.

"I'm not going anywhere, I'm coming with you," Jack said when he saw the look in Mac's eyes.

He was going to stay with Mac no matter what, he wasn't going to let Murdoc even look at his kid again...

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Please leave a comment!


	7. Chapter 7

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I didn't expect to get time to post today, but y'all are in luck! The next chapter will be out sometime next week!

Jack waited for Mac to wake up. He was sitting next to the bed that Mac was unconscious on. Mac had a lot of injuries but luckily all of them would heal with some time. The worst one, in Jack's opinion, was the one Murdoc had left on his arm. The doctors had told him that no matter what they did, the wound would scar. Jack's heart broke at the fact the Mac would have Murdoc's possesive word scared in his arm.

_I know Murdoc did that on purpose. So Mac would be forced to remember everything that happened every time he looked at his arm._

Jack's attention turned to Mac when he heard a gasp coming from Mac. Mac opened his eyes and looked at him with confusion.

"Jack...? Where am I?" he said softly, in a hoarse voice.

_How long did Murdoc make him scream?_

"You're in the hospital, don't worry, you're safe now. Murdoc can't hurt you."

"Is this a dream?"

Jack's heart broke,

_He was so convinced we had left him and we weren't coming for him. How did he hold on for so long?_

"It's not a dream. I'm really here now and you're safe."

"Why are you even talking to me? I thought you hated me," Mac asked fearfully.

_What is he talking about...? Oh god, the voicemails. How could I forget about them?_

"I could never hate you, no matter what you did. And I'm sorry about not picking up your phone calls, I had left my phone in the car. I would never ignore you no matter what you said to me."

Mac's eyes widened, "I'm sorry...for ever thinking you would do something like that. You must think I'm a terrible person."

"Oh of course not Mac. You have nothing to be sorry for, Murdoc just got in your head. We all love you, okay? We don't just pretend to keep you around for missions."

"How did you know...? You were watching."

Jack nodded, "He sent us videos everyday. Eventually we had enough to piece together a location."

"He knew you were coming. He used the escape door instead of the main door. He let me go."

Then another thought seemed to run through Mac's mind, "All of you guys saw the videos? You all saw me...beg with Murdoc?"

Mac'c hoarse voice had started trembling. Jack could see him panicking.

"I was the only one who watched them," Jack said quickly, "But even if the rest of the team had watched them, they wouldn't have thought any less of you for breaking."

"But I've been trained for situations like this. I should have held out longer then 5 days."

"Training is nothing like actual torture. Everyone has different endurance and there's nothing wrong with the fact that you broke."

"But I've been tortured for longer and haven't broke. And if you were there, you wouldn't have broken."

"This was much worse. And if I was there I would have broken right away. I couldn't watch you get hurt like that ever. And Murdoc knew that, that's why he sent the videos. He was just playing a game with both of us."

There were tears in Mac's eyes now, "Why does he want to hurt me so much? Why can't he just leave me alone?"

"I don't know, kid. All I know is that I'm never letting you out of my sight again. He is never going to be able to hurt you again."

"You really mean that?"

"I promise. And I'm not leaving you alone, I'm staying right here."

Mac looked away for a second then asked hesitantly, "How long?"

"How long for what?"

"How long will it take me to recover?"

Jack hesitated, he knew Mac wouldn't like the answer, "At least a month and a half, the wounds on your back are deep and you have a few broken ribs."

"Are they going to scar?" Mac asked hesitantly.

"...Yes and a lot of the cuts, including the one on your arm."

Mac looked down, Jack could see the tears running down him face.

"It's going to be alright, don't worry. And you don't belong to anyone, writing the word on your arm doesn't make Murdoc have any rule over you."

Mac nodded, "Who's going to be my replacement?"

"Your replacement? No one, no one could replace you anyways. You're completely unique. And I'm off duty until you heal."

"I'm sorry I disturbed your work schedule."

"There's nothing to apologize for. I could never work without you. And you're more important then this job. Now get some sleep, you need it. We'll talk more tomorrow."

Mac nodded, but didn't close his eyes.

"Is your back bothering you? I could get the doctor..."

The doctor had no choice but to lay Mac on his back because of his broken ribs.

_Murdoc isn't even here anymore but he's still hurting Mac._

Mac shook his head. That's when Jack realized that the lights in the room were off. Mac had never liked the dark much, but after Murdoc had blindfolded and deafened him, Mac definitely didn't want to be left in the dark. So Jack quickly got up and turned on the lights.

"Better?"

Mac looked embarrassed as he nodded. But he still didn't close his eyes.

"There's no reason to be embarrassed for wanting to sleep with the lights on Mac," Jack said softly, "And don't worry about nightmares, I'll make sure you sleep peacefully."

Jack couldn't blame Mac, he knew Murdoc was going to haunt Mac's dreams and he would do his very best to keep him away in Mac's mind.

Mac nodded, finally closing his eyes and falling into a deep sleep...

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I could never have Jack ignore Mac that's why I changed up that part from the episode.
> 
> Please leave a comment!


	8. Chapter 8

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I unexpectedly had time today, so y'all get another chapter! I hope y'all like it!
> 
> Thank you @N1ghtshade for letting me use your idea from your Wunderkind series!!!

Jack woke up suddenly. He didn't know when he had fallen asleep, but he knew what woke him up.

_Mac..._

Mac was thrashing on the bed and all the machines attached to him were beeping loudly.

"No, please don't hurt me...please stop...I'll do anything, _anything_ just _stop_..."

The doctors rushed into the room.

"We'll have to sedate him," one of them said.

Jack shook his head, "That will just make it worse, he'll be trapped inside his nightmare. Let me wake him up."

They looked hesitant, but stepped back.

"Mac...," Jack started, "Wake up, you're just having a dream..."

Jack continued gently talking to Mac until he woke up with a hoarse scream, trying to sit up, but falling back with a cry of pain.

"Easy, easy, you're okay Mac, you're in the hospital."

Jack saw the doctors leave in his peripheral vision as Mac looked at him with wide eyes, shaking his head.

"No, this is a dream. You would never rescue me, you hate me. And Murdoc would never let me go."

Jack's heart broke at Mac's hoarse words,

_He never thinks he has any worth, he thinks we'll abandon him at the first chance we get._

"This isn't a dream Mac...I'm here and you're in a hospital."

"No...you would never come for me, you hate me, I was so rude to you in Paris, why would you ever rescue me?"

Jack knew tears were falling down his face at this point as he gently laid a hand on Mac's shoulder. Mac flinched at first then relaxed visibly under Jack's hand.

"This isn't a dream," he said softly, "And I could never hate you, no matter what you say or do. No matter how many times you yell at me or break my things, I will never leave you Mac."

"Why? My father never thought I was enough to stick around for, what do you see in me?"

"Your father must have been blind if he didn't see anything in you. But I'm not, you're the smartest, kindest, and most selfless person I know. You mean everything to me, you're like a son to me. And your biological father might not have stuck around, but I will. No matter what."

Tears were running down Mac's face, "You...I...I'm like a son to you?" he asked in wonder.

"Of course, Mac," Jack said, gently hugging Mac.

He held Mac as he sobbed. When Mac quieted Jack sat back.

"Shh...There's nothing wrong with crying Mac," he said when Mac tried to say something, "What were you dreaming about?"

Mac stopped protesting and looked away immediately. 

"I won't judge you for anything that happened Mac, you did the best you could."

"But my best wasn't enough...I gave up in less then a week."

"A week is a long time when you're being tortured. You're always enough, remember that. No one will blame you for what happened."

"But-"

"Mac, we're all so relived that you're back, that you're safe. We missed you so much. We won't blame you for anything that happened because _it wasn't your fault_. I know it might seem like it, but just remember what I said anytime you try to blame yourself."

"I can't...anytime something happens, I just always find a way to make it my fault. I don't know how to make it stop."

Jack pulled something out of his pocket and held it up for Mac to see.

"Are those...my dog tags?" Mac asked.

Jack nodded, "You didn't want them anymore, so I kept them. It helps me feel close to you, even when you aren't around. And I want you to have mine."

"But-"

"What else will I do with them, you, Riley, and Bozer are my only kids and I want you to have them."

"But what if something happens to them? And you should give them to Riley, not me."

"It's okay if something happens to them. And why do you think Riley should have them, do you think you don't deserve them? She doesn't need them, she doesn't go off and do crazy things or get kidnapped. Well...she doesn't do crazy things that often. She's accepted I won't abandon her and she knows I'm always with her. So I think you should keep them, so you remember that I'm always here for you."

Jack gently uncurled Mac's fist and dropped the dog tags into his hand. Mac rubbed the smooth metal, fidgeting with the chain.

"Thanks Jack," Mac said softly.

"Anytime son, now get some sleep."

Mac's eyes widened, "I can't, he's in my head. Every time I close my eyes, all I can see is him standing over me and smiling. And it hurts Jack. Why can I feel him torturing me in my dreams?"

Jack's heart broke all over again, "I don't know Mac. But what I do know is that I won't ever let him hurt you again. Sleep, I'll make sure he can't haunt your dreams."

Mac still looked hesitant so Jack gently climbed into the hospital bed next to Mac. Mac snuggled into him, almost immediately falling asleep.

Jack almost fell asleep as well, but was stopped by his phone buzzing. He checked the text from a blocked number, _How sweet Dalton. But don't make promises you can't keep. I'll be back for Angus soon and this time I won't let him off this easy..._

Jack swore texting Matty to secure the area and call a few people from the TAC team to guard the door to Mac's room. Jack wasn't going to let Murdoc anywhere near Mac ever again. He was going to do anything and everything possible to protect his kid.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Sorry? This chapter killed me, I almost started crying and it's almost impossible to make me cry while reading something :)
> 
> Please leave a comment!


	9. Chapter 9

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Here's the next chapter. I hope y'all like it!

Mac slept peacefully throughout the rest of the night. He woke up slowly, looking confused at Jack. Then his eyes widened as he remembered what had happened and his nightmare. Mac's hand was still clenched around Jack's dog tags and he started fiddling with them.

"Jack...why is there a TAC team outside my door?"

Jack sighed, he should have known that Mac would notice the armed men guarding his door. Mac had been trained in the army to notice every single detail which often was useful for missions. But he could never turn it off, that's why it was hard for Mac to fully relax.

"We think that Murdoc knows you're here," Jack said softly. 

He didn't want to scare Mac, but he couldn't lie to him. 

Mac's eyes widened and he started breathing heavily,

"Jack...he...I can't..."

"It's okay Mac," Jack said, rubbing Mac's shoulder, "We'll keep you safe. I won't let Murdoc near you."

It took a few more reassurances before Mac fully calmed down again.

"How do you know that Murdoc knows I'm here?" Mac asked.

That was the question Jack was hoping Mac wouldn't ask. He knew Mac would hate the fact that Murdoc heard him having a nightmare and that he heard everything that had been said afterward. Jack hated that too, it was just something else Murdoc would use against Mac.

"He...sent me a message after you fell asleep," Jack admitted, showing Mac the message.

Mac's eyes widened again and he started panicking.

"He hear everything? I shouldn't have panicked like that...I should have been okay."

"There's nothing wrong with panicking after everything that happened."

"But he heard us...what if he goes after you to get to me? It would all be my fault."

Mac was still panicking, so Jack started rubbing his shoulder again until he calmed down. He opened his mouth to talk to Mac, but was interrupted by his phone buzzing.

_That's a great idea Angus. I'll keep it in mind for next time. And you look wonderful when you're panicking..._

Jack cursed texting Riley and Matty to check if anyone had hacked the cameras or placed a bug in the room.

"What's wrong Jack?" Mac asked with fear in his voice.

Jack hated the fact that Mac was scared and that the message would just add to that, but he had to show Mac the message. Mac couldn't stay safe if he didn't know what was happening. A look of pain went over Mac's face when he read the message. He could see the guilt and fear in Mac's eyes. Jack knew they were being watched so he subtly looked at his dog tags in Mac's hand. Mac's attention went to them and he understood what Jack was trying to tell him.

_It isn't your fault kid. And I'm not mad at you. Murdoc is just playing games with you. He can't hurt either of us._

Once Mac calmed down a bit he whispered, "What if he's watching us with a sniper rifle? And he has some other way to hear what we're saying."

Jack hadn't even thought of that. He called Roberts and Evens into the room and told them to cover Mac while he checked. Jack made sure that only his borrowed rifle was visible from the window. He didn't trust Murdoc not to shoot him. Jack scanned all the possible buildings until he spotted a figure in black on a rooftop holding a rifle. It was clearly Murdoc. Jack knew that Murdoc knew he had locked his target on Murdoc. And he knew that Murdoc knew he wouldn't miss. 

"Target locked," he whispered into the extra set of comms he had stuffed into his ear, "Should I take the shot?'

Jack ignored the urge to just shoot Murdoc, as much as he wanted to because Murdoc had hurt his kid. That would just get him in trouble and even though he didn't care about that, it would get him away from Mac. And that was unacceptable to Jack.

"Take the shot," Matty said.

Jack curled his finger around the trigger, but before he could shoot, there was a bang and a bullet whizzed passed his head. Jack dived to the side, trying to get a lock on Murdoc again. Out of the corner of his eye, he saw Roberts and Evens throw themselves on top of Mac to protect him. He heard them call for backup. There were a few more shots into the room, then everything went silent. Jack checked the roof top again and cursed when he didn't see Murdoc anymore. 

Jack stood up slowly, mentally checking himself to make sure he wasn't hit.

"He's gone," Jack said to Roberts and Evens, "You two good?"

They nodded and before Jack could say anything else his phone buzzed again.

_I won't miss again, Dalton. Tell Angus that was...a favor. I will need it returned soon..._

Jack ignored the urge to toss his phone out of the window and tossed it to Roberts.

"Send a few teams to look for Murdoc and get Mac transferred to a room without windows. And figure out how Murdoc's listening to us."

Jack hoped Murdoc was too busy trying to escape to listen to the conversation as Jack ran over to Mac's side. He grasped Mac's hand who looked like he was in shock.

"Jack..."

"I'm alright Mac, I'm alright."

"I'm sorry, I shouldn't have-"

"This isn't your fault Mac. We're just trying to keep you safe."

"Maybe you shouldn't, you'd all be safer that way."

"No Mac-"

"It's too dangerous for you to stay with me. You should just leave, all of you guys."

"I would never leave you, Mac. None of us would."

"Why not? I'm just putting you in danger. Why would you stay?"

"I don't care I'm in danger. You're in danger too, so why would I ever leave?"

"Jack, please. I can't lose someone else..."

Mac was pleading with Jack at this point, but he wasn't going to give up, "Your not going to lose me. I'm always going to be there for you son, okay? Always remember that. And anyways, Murdoc has nothing on my sniper skills."

Mac smiled at that, "Thanks."

Jack nodded, but before he could do anything else, the doctors came into the room talking about how to move Mac and assessing the damage to the room. Jack squeezed Mac's hand, he was going to stay with Mac and help him get through this. No matter what happened...

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This is definitely not how I anticipated this chapter to go...oh well :)
> 
> Please leave a comment!


	10. Chapter 10

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So I spent the last two days cleaning out a closet with my family that was just full of random stuff. I found things in there that I have no idea we had or where they came from and my missing shoe? Now I just have to see how long it will stay organized, I'm betting only 3 days:) Anyways, here's the next chapter! I hope y'all like it!
> 
> **Warning** : A bit of non-con touching

Jack sat down next to Mac after he got settled down in the new room. He took deep breaths, trying to calm himself down after the message Matty had sent him.

_Oversight recalled all the TAC teams to Phoenix. He said they were needed elsewhere._

Jack wasn't angry at Matty, he knew she had done everything possible to keep at least one TAC team here. If he ever met Oversight, he was going to interduce him to his fist.

Mac was panicking as well. He still was breathing heavily and looking around wildly.

"It's okay Mac, I'll keep you safe. I won't let Murdoc hurt you."

_And I'll kill him without hesitation the next chance I have..._

At least they knew how Murdoc had been listening to them. He had hacked into Jack's phone and accessed the microphone. Riley was checking if he had accessed any other information from his phone.

Mac still looked panicked so Jack held one of his hands and gently rubbed it. Mac sighed, all the tension leaving his body. He flinched when Jack's phone started ringing. Jack was glad it was only Matty calling him.

"We have intel that Murdoc is after a Henry Fletcher, he's a teacher. Oversight ordered you to go get him and take him into protective custody."

"Tell him I'm not going anywhere. He already recalled the TAC teams here, I'm not leaving Mac here alone."

"I did. He said that Murdoc is focused on Fletcher, so he should be a higher priority for us. He also said he wishes Mac could have gone and taken him into custody, but I told him that Mac was injured too badly."

Mac's eyes widened. Jack cursed himself for putting his phone on speaker

"It's okay Jack, you can go. Nothing's going to happen to me here."

Jack raised his eyebrows, "Excuse me for not believing this might be a trap set by Murdoc to get to you again."

"He knew you guys would find me if he sent you those videos, so why would he want to kidnap me again?"

"I don't know, maybe he changed his mind? I don't care what's going through his head, I'm not leaving you here alone."

"I told Oversight you would say that," Matty cut in, "So he said he's sending a TAC team over."

Jack sighed, "Why doesn't he send the TAC team to Henry whatever his name is?"

"He doesn't want to scare Fletcher by having a TAC team knock on his door."

"Yeah and in the mood Jack is in, I'm sure he won't be frightened at all," Mac cut in.

"I thought you _wanted_ me to go," Jack said, playing along. It had been a while since he had seen Mac be sarcastic or even smile.

Mac smiled again, "Go, I'll be fine."

And Jack believed him. Mac looked calm and the shadows haunting him were gone from his eyes.

"I'll be back soon."

 

Mac smiled as Jack left. He hadn't been lying to Jack, he felt better right now. When Matty said Murdoc was after Fletcher, it was like all the fear drained from Mac.

_He's not going to hurt me. Not right now._

Mac felt peaceful enough to fall asleep despite the fact that Jack wasn't there. So he closed his eyes...

Mac didn't know how long he had been sleeping. What he did know was that Jack wasn't back, but there was someone in his room. He opened his eyes.

Murdoc...

_How did he get in here? And where is the TAC team?_

Murdoc took a step towards him, "You look good Angus. How are you doing?"

"Fine, no thanks to you."

"That's the Angus I was missing. All attitude. Though I did enjoy this.." he said holding up his phone and playing a video of Mac begging.

Mac looked away from the screen, "What do you want?"

"To talk. I was missing you. I also wanted to make sure you got the message."

"What message?"

"You owe me."

"I don't owe you anything."

Murdoc smiled pulling out his phone and showing him a video of Jack driving an armored truck. There was a target on his head.

"I guess I'll just get rid of him then."

Mac's eyes widened, "No, don't! What...what do you want from me?"

"There's a lot I want from you Angus, but sadly those aren't possible right now," he said looking at Mac up and down.

Mac shuddered, pulling up his blanket to cover himself up. Murdoc laughed at his reaction.

"But right now I want you to call Jack and the rest of the team and tell them I'm here. And do exactly what I say otherwise Jack will get a bullet through his head."

Mac frowned, but listened to Murdoc. The phone rang for a few seconds before Mac saw Jack pick up the phone.

"Yes? Are you okay Mac?" Jack asked.

Mac didn't answer.

"Mac?" Matty asked.

Murdoc typed out a few words for Mac to say.

"Jack...Murdoc has a target locked on you."

"What?" Jack said. 

Mac heard a loud slam on the brakes and he saw Jack ducking under the dashboard, out of Murdoc's target. Murdoc smiled, pulling out his gun and pointing it at Mac.

"How do you know that? Mac?"

Mac swallowed, "Because he's pointing a gun at me and telling me to tell you that."

Mac heard various voices swearing.

"I knew I shouldn't have left you alone!" Jack yelled.

"He's listening to you guys."

"What do you want Murdoc?" Matty asked.

"A lot of things, but for now give me Fletcher. I won't hurt Angus if you do. Otherwise...you will never see him again. And don't worry, I don't want to kill Fletcher, I want him to join me."

"I thought you worked alone," Bozer said.

"I can't go up against all of you by myself can I? Now bring Fletcher here or else..."

Mac saw Jack get up again and start the vehicle. Murdoc smiled in satisfaction. He muted the call,

"Now while we wait..."

Mac flinched when Murdoc pulled off the blanket. Murdoc held up his phone to remind him that he could shoot Jack at any moment. So Mac forced himself to relax while Murdoc ran his hands over him, gently. All Mac could think of was Jack. He wanted Jack to drive faster so he could get here and stop Murdoc.

_He has a target on his head and I only care about myself? I must be a terrible person."_

"I'm sure lots of people would love seeing those videos..." Murdoc suddenly said.

Mac's eyes widened.

"Don't worry, I won't let anyone see them. Yet. Oh, it's so fun having so much leverage over you..."

_Please hurry Jack, please help me..._

Murdoc laughed, "I'm just getting started with you."

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I did not anticipate Murdoc showing up in this chapter...
> 
> Please leave a comment!
> 
> I just got a Tumblr so follow me @Flowing-River24


	11. Chapter 11

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Here's the next chapter! I hope y'all like it!
> 
> _Warning_ : Some non-con and death in Mac's dream, if you don't want to read it, skip the 3rd section (Mac's POV)
> 
> Follow me on tumblr @Flowing-River24

Jack silently cursed as he drove towards the hospital. He knew it was a bad idea to leave Mac alone in the hospital, but after Oversight sent over a TAC team, he thought Mac would be fine. Apparently that wasn't true. He hoped Matty was sending another TAC team over or doing _something_ to help Mac. He knew he couldn't do anything because somehow Murdoc was watching him. Jack knew it was no help if he got stopped by a cop for speeding, but all he could think about was Mac being defenseless against Murdoc.

Jack sped up the car more and drove into the hospital parking lot. He didn't bother with Fletcher, instead pulling out his gun and running towards Mac's room. When he got in there, Murdoc was gone and Mac was lying on the hospital bed, seemingly unharmed. Jack sighed and immediately ran over to Mac. He knew that Murdoc was probably escaping with Fletcher, but he didn't care. All he cared about was if Mac was okay.

Mac was breathing heavily. His eyes widened when he saw Jack.

"Jack...you're here. You're alive," said Mac.

He sounded so realized, so Jack grasped his hand to try and calm him down.

_He was stuck with a psychopath and he only worried about me?_

"Are you okay Mac? Did he hurt you?"

Mac shook his head, "He only threatened you...and me."

Jack was so relived that he didn't notice how Mac wasn't meeting his eyes, like he did when he was lying...

 

It had been a long exhausting day. After Jack knew Mac was okay, he had to call Matty and have a full, over the phone debrief. It turned out, Murdoc had snuck past the TAC team and luckily none of them were hurt.

_Otherwise, Mac would had blamed himself for that too._

Murdoc had escaped with Fletcher and Oversight was pretty angry about that. He had told Jack, over the phone, that he was giving him an official reprimand. Jack had been silent, not trying to say something sarcastic because the last thing he needed was Oversight to call him back to the Phoenix.

Otherwise he probably would have cursed Oversight out for not caring about the state Mac was in right now.

Jack turned his attention back to Mac who was sleeping. He didn't seem to be having good dreams, but he wasn't screaming so Jack let him sleep.

_He's barely getting any sleep because of his nightmares. And he was getting better, but Murdoc popping back up took him back to square one._

Little did Jack know how bad the dream really was...

 

_Murdoc was still standing over Mac, holding the phone in his hand._

_"You know, I really don't need Fletcher...All I want is you. And with your_ Jack _out of the way...you're all mine."_

_Then Murdoc pressed the button on his screen._

_There was a loud band and Mac sees Jack slump over the steering wheel. A few seconds later, the car crashes into the sidewalk. Mac can see and hear people screaming, but he feels numb,_

Jack can't be dead, he can't be. Murdoc's just playing a trick on me.

_But he can see the blood running down Jack's face...Jack is dead. He's dead. And no one is going to save him from Murdoc..._

_Murdoc steps close to Mac and he tries to push him away, but his hands are tied. He can't do anything, he can't stop Murdoc._

_Murdoc smiles, running his hands all over Mac, starting to cut the hospital gown off of him._

Please save me Jack! Please stop him!

_But Jack is dead. No one will save him now. Mac sobs, there is nothing he can do...nothing..._

 

Jack startled awake.

_Mac_

Mac is trashing on the bed, trying to fight someone.

"Please don't touch me...please stop...Jack where are you? Please help me Jack..."

Jack's heart broke and he had a sick feeling he knew exactly what Mac was dreaming about. He started gently talking to Mac, trying to wake him up. He doesn't dare touch him.

_He never had dreams like this before. Why is he having them know? He told me nothing happened...he wouldn't lie to me, would he?_

Mac screamed when he finally woke up. He was panting heavily and Jack could see the tears running down his face. When his eyes landed on Jack, he froze in shock.

"Mac?"

Mac stared at him for a few more seconds before unfreezing and throwing himself into Jack's arms. Jack was surprised, knowing Mac must have been in a lot of pain, but he held Mac gently while he cried.

When Mac laid back, he was still crying, "You died...you died..."

_What was he dreaming about?"_

"I'm alive, I'm right here. Murdoc didn't kill me."

At Murdoc's name, Mac flinched violently, looking around.

"He's not here, he can't hurt you..."

Then Jack's mind went back to everything Mac said when he was dreaming, "Mac when Murdoc was here...he didn't-"

Mac looked away, "He didn't. But he wouldn't stop touching me and I was so scared...Jack, you won't let him hurt me?"

Jack felt a wave of anger run through him. How dare Murdoc touch his kid. He was going to cut off Murdoc's hand and kill him.

But those were thoughts for another time, right now he had to comfort Mac, "I'll never let anyone hurt you, no matter what."

And he held Mac while he sobbed, until he fell asleep...

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Please leave a comment!


	12. Chapter 12

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Here's the next chapter! I hope y'all like it.
> 
>  
> 
> **Tags have been updated, please read them!**

_A month later..._

Mac sat down, sighing. It had been a hard, painful recovery for him so far. Jack and the rest of the team had been there for him through every step. He still couldn't believe they cared for him so much. As that thought ran through Mac's mind...he unconsciously grabbed the dog tags around his neck.

_Don't ever forget, I'm always going to there for you. I'll never leave you._

Mac smiled. Jack hadn't lied, he had stayed with Mac in the hospital and at home after he got discharged. Mac hadn't slept in his own bed yet, their were too many bad memories. Jack had let him stay at his apartment.

_What did I do to deserve someone like Jack?_

He was at his house right now. He needed to pick up a few things and Jack was on the way to pick him up on his way back from the Phoenix. 

Mac had already been in his house for too long and he hadn't managed to go inside his room yet.

_All I can think about is Murdoc suffocating me._

After everything Mac had been through, he never thought such a small thing would bother him. He needed to get better so he could go back in the field. He wasn't useful sitting around at home.

Oversight had given him 3 more days before he had to do his reentrance exams and get back to work. Jack had protested, saying he needed more time, but Mac was fine. He knew he could get back to work, he was ready.

Mac leaned back and winced. His back still bothered him at times, but he knew he could ignore it. 

_I can take a little pain, that's not important._

What he was most worried about was his arm. The doctors were right, no matter what they had tried, Murdoc's words had scarred badly. And he hated it the most. He could hide the scars on his back but it was hard to hide his forearm. He had worn full sleeve shirts every time he went outside, but he would roll them up to do things. When he would catch people's stares, he would quickly pull down his sleeves and look away. 

He hated how people treated him because of it. Everyone could tell it was a new injury, so they would always talk to him gently, like he could break at any moment. Some people would stare at him with pity and others would just come up to him and ask what happened. Jack would always be there with him and he would yell at them to leave him alone. 

One time, Jack had even punched a man who told Mac that it was probably his fault that he got kidnapped and that he shouldn't look that pretty. The police had been called, but after they heard what had happened, they let Jack go and had a stern talk with the man. Mac had ran back to the car where Jack had calmed him down and told him that it wasn't his fault.

_He didn't know what happened, so he doesn't know who's fault it is. Don't listen to people like him._

Mac snapped out of his thoughts and pulled his sleeve down. Now was not the time for him to think about that.

Mac jumped when he heard a noise.

_It's probably nothing._

Still Mac got up. He grabbed the nearest "weapon," which happened to be a coffee mug and walked into the hallway. He spotted a shadow a crept forward, but before he could do more then lift his arm, he was slammed into the wall. Mac groaned when his back exploded in pain. When his vision cleared, he immediately recognized who was pining him to the wall.

Murdoc...

"Hello Angus...it's nice to see you again. How are you doing?"

"What do you want?"

"You of course. But I'm going to spare you today. This is just a...warning...if only I had more time. But it's okay, I'll make do with what I can get."

"What...what are you talking about?"

Mac knew exactly what Murdoc was threatening, but it was better to pretend he didn't.

"You know exactly what I'm talking about..."

Murdoc dragged Mac into his room and tied him up on the floor. Mac's eyes widened and he shook his head,

"No...please don't..."

But Murdoc ignored him. He kneeled next to him and started running his hands all over Mac.

"I've been waiting for this for so long..."

Mac continued begging, but Murdoc didn't listen to him. He continued touching him and started cutting off his clothes. He stopped to examine all the scars Murdoc had left on him.

"These are beautiful...you know how good it feels to leave so many marks on you. And they turned out perfectly."

Mac shuddered, he was scared. He had never been more scared in his life. But he couldn't do anything, he was tied up.

_Jack where are you...please help me..._

For once, his prayers were answered and he heard the front door opening and Jack calling out for him. He sobbed in relief. Murdoc smiled and whispered in his ear,

"If I wanted too, we could have been long gone from here. And no one would ever find you. Always remember that..."

And then Murdoc was gone...

 

There was a strange silence in Mac's house. When Jack called for Mac, he didn't hear any reply. He listened quietly until he heard a soft sobbing. He quickly walked towards the door.

_What did he remember? I knew I should have kept Mac at my apartment. But Oversight wanted me to come in today to help with a mission._

But when Jack made it to the door, he heard a voice inside that wasn't Mac's. He drew his gun and bust into the room. The window was open.

_No no...Mac can't be gone..._

Jack sighed in relief when he spotted Mac, but fear ran through him. Mac was tied up, naked on the floor. And he was crying.

_No that couldn't have happened. I just talked to him. Please tell me nothing happened._

Jack gently kneeled next to Mac and cut the ropes with his knife. He grabbed the blanket off Mac's bed and wrapped it around him.

"Mac?"

Mac sobbed harder. He fell forward against Jack and Jack gently held him. He didn't know what happened and he didn't want to make anything worse for Mac. Mac was saying something over and over again,

"Thank you...thank you so much..."

All the tension left Jack. He knew that he must have prevented the worse.

_But that doesn't mean Mac's okay. He's been through hell and Murdoc keeps making it worse..._

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Please leave a comment!


	13. Chapter 13

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Here's the next chapter! I hope y'all like it!
> 
> My story didn't go to the top yesterday, so make sure you didn't miss the last chapter...and if you did, read the tags.

Riley frowned when Mac walked into the war room with Jack.

_He's suppose to have two more days off, why is he here?_

But that wasn't what was worrying Riley, what worried her was how bad Mac looked. He was nervous, looking around at everything, and he wasn't meeting anyone's eyes. He looked like he hadn't slept for days and he wasn't stepping away from Jack.

"Murdoc broke into Mac's house yesterday," Jack said.

"What?" Riley said, "But he was in Europe yesterday, I tracked him there."

_No wonder Mac looked so scared_

"Are you okay Mac?" Riley asked. 

She knew if he was hurt, they would have already found out about this. And that was confirmed when Mac nodded.

"Jack insisted that I stay here while he works," Mac said in a raspy voice.

_He sounds like he's been screaming and crying. And as scared as he looks, I doubt he wanted to Jack to leave him alone either._

Jack laid an arm on Mac's shoulder and started rubbing it soothingly. Riley could see the tension leave Mac. Matty made the face she made every time she had tell them bad news.

"Oversight ordered me to call you in later today for a mission."

"But he hasn't been cleared by medical yet," Jack said.

"I know, but he can override that rule and still make Mac go on the mission," Matty said sighing.

"Mac isn't ready for the field," Jack argued.

"Jack-"

"No, don't argue with me. I know you're back's still hurting and after yesterday..."

_What happened? What did Murdoc do?_

"I know," Mac said, sounding resigned, "But I can do this."

"I know you can, but I don't want you to, you're not ready. That's why I told you to refuse the CIA's job offer, I didn't want them taking advantage of you."

Everyone was silent, trying to think of a way to help Mac.

"Can't Mac refuse to do the mission?" Riley asked.

Jack grimaced, "He could, but he could also get thrown in jail."

"Can't you just tell Oversight that Murdoc broke into Mac's house?"

"He would say that nothing happened to Mac, he still has to complete the mission," Matty said angrily.

"But something did happen. Just because Murdoc didn't cut him, doesn't mean Mac isn't hurt," Jack said.

Matty's phone buzzed and she picked up the call. Riley couldn't hear what was being said, but she could tell Matty didn't like.

"I can't. Murdoc broke into his house again," she said.

After something else was said, Matty's eyes widened.

"What do you mean, 'so what' he's your...agent. Don't you care about what happens to him?"

"I don't care who's in trouble, I'm not putting my agent back into the field until he's healed again, you can fire me if you don't like that," she said. Then she cut off the phone.

Everyone stared at Matty.

"I'm sorry Matty," Mac said suddenly.

She frowned, "Why?"

"What if he did fire you. You shouldn't have said that for me. I could have completed the mission."

"We talked about this Mac, everything isn't you're fault. Matty wouldn't have said that if she wasn't willing to take the consequences."

Matty nodded, "He's right. And you two can go home."

Jack lead Mac out the door and Riley could just hope Mac would be okay.

 

When they had gotten to Jack's apartment, Jack had immediately sent Mac to sleep. He hadn't slept all last night out of fear. It had taken Jack a long time to calm Mac down and get him to tell Jack what happened. Jack wanted to chase after Murdoc, but he couldn't let Mac out of his sight. Mac had been so scared, he was shaking and he refused to stay in any room without Jack there.

Jack walked into his spare bedroom to make sure Mac was sleeping. He was lying on the bed, but his eyes were open.

"Jack...you won't let Murdoc touch me again right?"

"Of course not. I know I've said it before and Murdoc's still managed to get to you, but I underestimated him. I won't do it again."

"You shouldn't need to protect me. I should be able to fight him myself. I'm trained for situations like that, but I still let him get the upper hand."

"You're hurt, it's okay. And it's not your job to beat up bad guy, that's why I'm here. Now get some sleep."

"I don't want to be alone," Mac whispered hesitantly.

"You're never alone Mac," Jack said.

He kicked off his shoes and laid down next to Mac and gently hugging him. He knew he couldn't prevent Mac's nightmares, but he would do his best. Mac relaxed and hugged Jack back, like a scared child hugging their parents when they're scared.

Mac whispered, "Thanks Jack"

"Of course, son. I love you and I would do anything for you."

Jack wasn't sure if Mac heard what he said because he was already asleep...

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Please leave a comment!


	14. Chapter 14

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Here's the next and last chapter! I hope y'all like it!

Jack woke up to a punch. He was confused until he remembered where he was and what had happened yesterday. Mac being afraid of being alone and knowing he was going to have nightmares.

_Of course he was right, I knew he was going to have nightmares even though I wish he didn't._

Jack turned his attention back to Mac who was trashing and screaming in his sleep.

"Please stop...please don't touch me...please..."

Jack scooted away from Mac so he wouldn't make the dream worse, "Wake up Mac, you're safe. It's just a dream..."

It took Jack a few minutes, but he managed to wake Mac up. Mac looked around, and when his eyes landed on Jack he fell forward, hugging him and crying. Jack him close and let him cry.

"Don't worry, you're safe. Murdoc can't hurt you..."

After some time, Mac sat back and wiped his tears,

"Why can't I be okay? Why am I having nightmares? Murdoc didn't even hurt me."

"He tortured you, broke into your house and sexually assaulted you, Mac. It's okay that you're not okay, that you have nightmares. There's nothing wrong or weird about your reaction to what happened," Jack said gently.

Mac sighed, "But I can't go back to work like this. I need to be able to sleep again."

"And you will be able to. You just need time for your mind to heal. We won't think any less of you for not coming back to work yet. And your not useless to us when you're not working Mac. Never forget that."

Mac grabbed the dog tags around his neck and rubbed them, "Thank you Jack for reminding me that it gets better."

Jack smiled, "Of course Mac. I'll always be here to remind you anytime you need it."

Jack knew Mac needed more time to heal, but he was making progress. He was starting to accept that he has some worth to all of us.

_Everything will be fine now. And Murdoc won't be able to change that..._

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Murdoc didn't get caught in this story because they don't catch him until Murdoc + Handcuffs. I might write a AU of that based on how things would be different in that episode after what happened in this story, but I'm not sure
> 
> Please leave a comment!

**Author's Note:**

> Sorry...?
> 
> Please leave a comment! I will try to post the next chapter tomorrow, but I have finals so I'm sure if I can!


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